"it" just moved
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize