So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize