Don't you send me to vm
one might say we're banned from that church
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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