I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
