I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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