he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
