He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
