My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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