No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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