Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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