Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize