No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
