God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
