I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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