Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This can only be settled by a dance off.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
