Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
