belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
