even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize