I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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