The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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