we're blogging at a bar
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
