You can't special order awesome
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
