i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
