i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
