I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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