question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
