I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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