she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
