Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
