So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
