I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
