she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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