i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
