Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
