Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
