Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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