Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize