my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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