She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
