Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
