the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You can't special order awesome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
where does the pee come out of this thing
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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