I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
