Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize