Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
