I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
