Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
