guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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