so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I could fuck to npr.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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