I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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