DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
