Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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