I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
