did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
