trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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