You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
