kristin has been a bad kristin
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
