nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
