i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
