The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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