Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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