ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize