The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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