at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
