Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm at about main and main street
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
